Hunger
by RedReadingBooks
Summary: Emma needed to get better. She knew that. But eating? No. She couldn't do that. But with the help of her friends, will she be able to get back on track?
1. Prologue

_Welcome to my world of fiction!_

**A/N: Woooow. The fact that so many people loved my Red Band Society one-shot is awesome. Thank you guys so much. 3 Now, I'm back with a multiple chapter story! The story is mainly around Emma and her eating disorder, and it's only going to get darker. I hope you guys will enjoy the prologue, don't forget to leave a review!**

**-Ellie**

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><p><strong>Emma's room – 11:30 P.M<strong>

As I stared at my reflection, I could only feel one thing. Disgust. I was disgusting. I was too fat. I could still pinch my stomach; I couldn't see my ribs anymore because they forced me to eat something. After passing out last week, they hooked me to some machines. There were all of these tubes that brought "nutritious benefits" to my body, but I knew what it was truly bringing. Fat. It was making me fatter and after being hooked to those machines for at least a week, I had gained two pounds. Two pounds was too much.

I bent over the toilet and pushed two fingers down my throat. My gag reflex kicked in and I vomited into the toilet. I quickly washed down the taste with a glass of water.

No one really knew how I maintained my weight. I couldn't be more than one hundred pounds; I wouldn't allow myself to be. One hundred was too much. The nurses were too dumb to notice that I made myself throw up. Because I never did it during the day. Only at night, when that fat and sleepy nurse Carley monitored us.

I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a ponytail, then went back to bed.

**The classroom – 9:15 A.M**

"I'm having lunch in your room today." Kara said, sitting down next to me. I smiled and nodded. "Okay."

It was easy to make myself look like I was getting better with Kara around. Some days, she would come eat lunch in my room. Well, she would eat. We never invited anyone else, just us. She would bring her lunch and she'd eat mine. Never hers. She tossed hers out the window and it would land on the ground, where no one would miss it.

She would always wear that sling, even though her arm was fine now. She said it was a good place to hide the food whenever a nurse would come check in on us – not that they did that much because we were having girl time. Well. That's what they said.

Leo sat down on the other side of me and smiled at Kara. She rolled her eyes and got up to go sit next to Dash. Leo frowned slightly.

"You doing okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"Just asking." He said.

"Okay…" I nodded. He took out his books.

What was that all about? Did Kara tell him about our arrangement? I was so close to getting out of here, I didn't want him to ruin everything for me by telling the nurses I wasn't really eating my food. The only problem about the whole thing is that they hook me up to machines every night. They want me to get better, so they hook me up. What they don't know is that I always take it out myself. I un-hook the machines and I go to sleep. I wake up before my first check and I plug it back. It's not hard when you know exactly how to do it. The nurses never suspect a thing.

I smiled down at my books.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever you think there is to talk about; I don't need to talk about it. And nothing is going on. So please, leave me alone. Go back to your books, you need it. I've seen your grades." I replied.

"Not like I'm planning on going to college. Not anymore."

Leo always wanted to do one thing and one thing only; play soccer. He wanted to become a soccer player and go to the Olympics. But obviously, having only one leg doesn't exactly help your chances of being on the team. Having cancer ruined his dream. He could've had a full scholarship and do great things. But cancer had other plans for him.

I sighed and looked down, feeling bad about what I just said. "Sorry." I mumbled.

He didn't answer.

**Emma's room – 12:49 P.M**

"I don't get why you guys get the good food." Kara said.

"It's because we need the nutritious benefits-"

"Is that what they told you?" She chuckled. Kara took a big bite out of my sandwich. I sighed. The only downside to this arrangement was that I had to hang out with Kara for at least an hour every time she felt like eating good food. And that was almost every day.

A few minutes later of sweet, sweet silence, Kara looked up at me. "So. Why did you stop eating?" She asked. I glared at her and leaned back against my chair.

"None of your business." I said.

"No need to be a total bitch about it." She said. Hah. How ironic coming from her.

I never told anyone why I didn't eat. Why I ever stopped eating. Mainly because no one asked. Leo asked me once, but I refused to tell him. Kara was the second person to ask me why, but I knew she didn't care much. Kara's not the kind of person who cares about others.

As Kara got up to leave, she put down what was left of my sandwich, she looked at me. "You know, you should really eat. You're skinny. Too skinny. Skinny is good, but… Not like that."

She left.

I buried my face in my hands and groaned. I wish she would just go back to annoying Jordi about his leg instead of me and my weight.

They couldn't know. No one could.


	2. Heart attack

_Welcome to my world of fiction!_

**A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so glad everybody liked the first chapter so much. You guys don't even understand how happy I was after reading your reviews, seeing all the follows and favorites! You guys are amazing! 3**

**Anyways, here is the second chapter (Yes, already the second chapter!). I hope you guys will love it as much as the first one.**

**A/N #2: A horizontal line indicates that it's a new day.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Leo and Jordi's room – 8:30 P.M<strong>

"No! I know her too well. Something's wrong." Leo said.

I stopped walking. I hid behind the closed door, listening.

"If she says she's fine, she's fine. You can't just assume something's wrong."

Thank you, Jordi.

"You don't understand. When she first came to the hospital, she was bigger than this. She's only getting skinnier and skinnier, but the nurses think she's getting better. If they send her out, she'll be back in no time. If they keep her here, nothing's going to change."

"I think she looks fine."

"Of course you think she looks fine." Leo said. You could hear the sarcasm dripping through his words. But Jordi didn't seem to notice.

"I've been here for a month, Leo. I see her almost every single day. She's doing just fine." Jordi said. Leo scoffed.

"Whatever, man." He said.

I decided that that was enough. I walked in, smiling.

"Hey guys!" I said.

"Hey!" Jordi said. Leo didn't answer. I frowned and sat on the edge of Jordi's bed. Leo got up and sat down on his wheelchair, before wheeling out as quickly as he could.

"What's his deal?" I asked.

Jordi only shrugged. But I think I knew what was going on.

**Emma's room – 9:49 P.M**

What I loved about Friday nights is that the nurses let us stay up late. The lights had to be out at eleven, but we could be up for as long as we wanted. They didn't mind much if we stayed quiet.

I walked into my room, only to find Leo sitting at my desk, reading through my notebook.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, taking the notebook out of his hands. "If you want to borrow my notes from class, you should just ask."

"Sorry." He said. I knew he wasn't really sorry. I sighed and sat on my bed, not bothering to tell him to get out. No matter how many times you would ask Leo to leave, Leo would never leave until he wanted to. That was just the way he was.

I glanced at him. "Dash is looking for you." I said.

"Dash knows I'm in here." He said.

I tried to come up with another excuse, but I couldn't think of anything. I groaned.

"Just get ouuuuut!" I said. He paused for a second and nodded. "Alright." He replied before wheeling out of my room.

"What? That's it?" I asked. But he was already too far away to hear me.

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><p><strong>Kara &amp; Charlie's room – 12:51 P.M <strong>

Today, I had decided to bring my lunch to Kara's room. She was supposed to come to my room, but I figured that she might be nicer if I did something nice for her.

I walked into her room, only to find her sitting next to the window. She had never taken off the tape from her whole "I want pizza" phase, whatever that was. I never really asked her about it.

"Hey." I said to her, sitting down in front of her, putting my tray of food on my lap. She smiled a little and leaned over, grabbing a quarter of my sandwich.

"I didn't think you'd show up." Kara said.

"I was actually surprised when you didn't. You love the sandwiches they make on the week-end." I replied. She chuckled.

"I had a little problem with my heart this morning. But I'm okay."

"What happened?"

"It just… Failed. Again." She sighed.

Kara's condition was only getting worse. She had stopped taking drugs, but was still smoking cigarettes from time to time. After smoking for a couple of years, it was hard to stop. She knew she had too if she wanted to get better, she knew she had too if she wanted to move up on the list. Doctor McAndrew had already moved her up on the list because of her last drug test. No more drugs for Kara meant she could get a heart. But she couldn't stop smoking. She tried, but it was hard. If her heart kept on failing her, she might never wake up again.

Kara pulled out a cigarette. I took it out of her hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked, glaring at me. I rolled my eyes. "I'm helping you out." I said.

Kara sighed and nodded. "Thanks."

I nodded back. "Don't mention it."

If Kara was helping me get out of here, I don't see why I shouldn't help her with her cigarette problem. It was hard enough to know she was probably never going to get that heart transplant; the least I could do is help her.

Since Kara had been helping me, Nurse Jackson commented on how good it was that I was eating again, and that I could probably go home soon. I had been here long enough for no reason. I was fine. I didn't need their treatment. I was doing okay on my own long before I was here.

I smiled at her and took a sip from my glass of water. She smiled back.

"You finally took off the sling." I noted.

"Yeah. After this morning, Nurse Jackson took it off herself. She wouldn't let me keep it." She said. I nodded.

"So… Are you ever going to tell me why you stopped eating?" She asked a few minutes later. I rolled my eyes.

"No. Now shut up and eat before Nurse Brittany comes in for your check." I snapped. She put down my sandwich.

"You're being stupid. This is so unhealthy."

"Says the girl who needs a heart transplant but still drinks, smokes and pops pills on her free time!" I said, getting up. My tray fell on the floor, the plate and the glass breaking.

I stormed out of her room and ran back to mine. I walked into the bathroom and shut the door, sliding down against it. I buried my face in my hands, silently crying.

Why did she have to push me? She didn't understand! No one understands me. No one understands all the shit I've been through. So until they do, they can just go away with their stupid theories. I'm not taking any of that crap anymore.

They just don't get it.


	3. The weight of the world

_Welcome to my world of fiction!_

**A/N: Hello everyooone! I'm so sorry it took longer than expected to update, I was just a little confused about where I wanted to go with this chapter. A lot of things happened in episode two and three of Red Band Society, and I wanted you guys to know that I will not follow what happens on the TV series, except for a few minor things. Anyways, I wanted to ask you guys if you wanted me to include some romance in my story? I'll start a poll on my profile, you can go check it out!**

**I'd like to thank all of you who are following, reviewing and putting this story in your favorites. You guys are amazing, and I love you all.**

**Anyways, on with the story!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Nurses' station – 10:31 A.M<strong>

"You two are in some serious trouble!" Nurse Jackson yelled. Kara and I glanced at each other. It had been a week since our little fight and we hadn't talked ever since. After Nurse Brittany finally found out what really happened – the poor girl didn't even realize our two stories didn't fit together – we were called at the nurses' station. We got caught.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kara said. Nurse Jackson simply rolled her eyes. Was Kara really trying to get herself out of this? If she was stupid enough to believe she could, then she's even dumber than I thought she was.

"I expected this from you." Nurse Jackson replied, before turning to me. "But from you? I expected better. Don't you want to get better? We were about to release you from the hospital! You could've died if we had done that!" She added. She pinched the bridge of her nose. I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I said. She only shook her head before walking away.

"We so could have got out of this. Why did you have to say sorry?" Kara asked, turning to me. She crossed her arms.

"What else was I supposed to do? Lie badly like you did?" I said. She shook her head.

"You could've gotten out of here! That was the plan. Right?"

"Yeah! But because of you, I'm never getting out of here." I snapped. Kara's eyes widened as she pointed to herself.

"My fault?! You're the one who freaked out because you didn't want to tell me why the hell you won't even take a bite out of a stupid sandwich!" She yelled.

I couldn't take it anymore. What didn't she understand? I didn't want to tell her. But she just kept on pushing me, and pushing me, and pushing me. So I made up something.

"I stopped eating because of the insults." I said, pausing to add some dramatic effect. From the look on her face, it looked like she was buying it. "I was fat. Really fat. Everybody kept on making fun of me and I got really tired of it. I tried everything. Nothing would work for me. So, I stopped eating. And it worked."

Kara seemed thoughtful. She gave me a look I didn't really understand before nodding and walking off.

Maybe, just maybe, she had seen through my lie.

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><p><strong>The test room – 12:17 P.M<strong>

As I stepped onto the scale, I tried to put on as much weight as possible into my feet. It was hard considering Nurse Brittany made me remove my shoes, but I was kind of expecting it. She glanced at me and I became nervous. What if she knew what I was doing to gain weight?

"I'd like you to remove that heavy sweatshirt you're wearing, please." She said.

Shit.

I took off the sweatshirt and lifted my tank-top a little, making sure she couldn't see the weights I had put in my bra. I also had some small weights in my pants.

"Well, it actually looks like you've dropped two pounds." Nurse Brittany said, shaking her head. Two pounds? Good. But still not enough.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't be. I'm sure everything will be better soon." She replied before leaving.

I stepped off the scale. Better soon? What was that supposed to mean? I felt fine, I felt great. I had never been better, actually. It felt nice to know that even while I was wearing the weights, I was two pounds lighter. Without the weights, that was at least four pounds lighter! I was getting slimmer and slimmer, which felt amazing.

I smiled and put my sweatshirt and shoes back on before walking out of the room.

**Emma's room – 4:30 P.M**

"So? How did you weigh-in go?" Jordi asked me.

"Great." I replied. He gave me a strange look. "Great? What do you mean by great? Did you gain a pound?" He asked.

"…Yeah."

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

I didn't really care if Jordi believed me or not. I was ecstatic. I had been losing enough weight because of all the exercise I was doing and without eating and unplugging myself at nights, that I was four pounds lighter! I didn't care much what anybody thought, I was happy. I enjoyed being lighter. I felt lighter.

"…Are you sure it was great?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It was fine." I said. He nodded again.

Just give up already, Jordi.

He smiled awkwardly. "Alright. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." He said, before wheeling out of the room. Weird.

I frowned a little and leaned back against my pillows. Why was he always on my case? He, Kara and Leo were the worst when it came to talking about my weight. But it felt nice to know that they care.


End file.
